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Singles Travel as a Meeting Option

Sometimes you have to leave New York in order to meet a "mensch" from New York. For those who aren't sure, a mensch means "decent, responsible person, and I like to add who even your mother would love." (For some of us, mom's approval is important.) That is exactly how I met my husband of seven years.

I was working at a public relations firm and had a client who was a young, single, gorgeous music video producer -- in short, the kind of guy I surely never met at a singles dance. He was exciting, good looking, and made me forget the many frustrations of singlehood. While we actually never dated, we went out as friends, and I was on Cloud Nine just spending time with him and hearing stories about the music scene.
He was planning to sponsor a rock concert in Estonia in the Baltics (not Astoria in Queens), and I was going to go along to promote it. Last minute, the plans fell through due to lack of funding, and suddenly my romantic bubble was burst. I had no vacation plans, no friend to travel with because of the last minute notice, and needless to say, I was depressed and feeling sorry for myself. But, I did not give in to these emotions. Instead I searched for a trip, and signed up for a singles tour to London and Paris for two weeks. I went by myself, which was the first time I had ever done such a thing. Was I scared? Yes! Do I regret it? No!!! Not only did I meet the man I married, but I learned many a lesson in the process which I will share with you.
  • Lesson #1 -- DON'T BE AFRAID TO DO THINGS BY YOURSELF. If friends aren't available, go anyway. This holds true whether you're thinking of going to a singles function or a trip. Often you're better off being alone, because it really forces you to initiate conversation, and meet new people. Also, if you get a roommate, you could wind up being best buddies. (This actually happened to me when I went to Club Med one summer.)
  • Lesson #2 - FATE OFTEN PLAYS A ROLE IN DETERMIING WHEN AND HOW YOU MAY MEET MR. OR MRS. RIGHT - but, you have to help fate along. That means not only being in the right place, but having the right attitude. You need to try new things and keep an open mind.
  • Lesson #3 - DON'T VIEW A SINGLES TRIP AS THE BE ALL AND END ALL. If you meet someone, it's icing on the cake, but you should first be excited about the locale you've chosen to visit. If you're busy sightseeing and having a great time, you won't be so worried about finding the love of your life...and that's when you will probably meet (remember what I said about fate).
  • Lesson #4 - CONSIDER GOING AWAY EVEN FOR JUST A WEEKEND. Going away for a long weekend can do wonders for the body and mind. Some spas attract singles, or you can always check out places like Club Getaway, a golf school(good way to meet men), and even a camping trip.

Let me offer you the following tips when it comes to selecting a singles trip or vacation spot:

  • Call up and ask what the ratio is of men to women. * Make sure the age group is right for you. You don't want to get stuck on a vacation with people who you feel aren't suitable for one reason or another. Trips are usually categorized "Under 40" & "Over 40."
  • Pick a location you're excited to visit, so you know you'll have a great time no matter what.
  • If you're thinking of a cruise - remember that most of your time is spent on the ship, so it can be confining. * Trips with outdoor activity (i.e. kayaking, biking, hiking, etc.) tend to be male dominated. So, women keep that in mind. * The Hamptons & Fire Island are always popular retreats for single New Yorkers who join share houses every summer. If you're thinking of descending on this scene, now's the time to check out the ads in the Village Voice. Remember, that whatever house you choose to join, you will undoubtedly get little sleep, but have a good time. Just make sure you're comfortable with the other house members, otherwise it can be a disaster.

My book, HOW TO MEET A MENSCH IN NEW YORK (City & Company, $12.95), has a whole chapter devoted to travel and will give you info on places mentioned above, as well as countless other ideas. Check it out in the NY section of your local bookstore or Purchase here from Order Here.


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copyright 2007 Robin Gorman Newman. All rights reserved.