Anyone can get married.
However, the state of matrimony is no great accomplishment. The
real challenge is to be married and happy. Before you attempt to
meet a mate, you must take a look at yourself and be reasonably
content with who you are and what you've done thus far with your
life (even if it hasn't turned out exactly as you had planned).
You might have heard the saying before: "We make our plans, and
God makes his." However, if you're not happy with yourself, you
can't expect someone else to make you happy or even want to be with
you. A happy single person can be a happier married person, assuming
you choose the right mate. So, live fully in the present day....whether
it's Valentine's Day or otherwise.
Feeling good about
yourself includes your appearance. If you wish you could lose some
weight and want to be proactive about it, join a gym, get a treadmill
or go for walks with a friend. If you want to update your wardrobe
and don't know how, consider visiting a personal shopper at a department
store. They are there to make suggestions and help you make flattering
fashion choices. If you want to change your hair or makeup, look
through some magazines and cut out pictures that you like so you
can show them to a hair stylist. Many department store make-up counters
will periodically feature trained makeup artists who are there for
the day doing makeovers. You might consider trying something like
this to get some new ideas and have fun. Just know that first impressions
are important, and you want to put your best foot and face forward.
PUTTING LOVE BEFORE
PERSONAL CONTENTMENT
I once did a Love Coaching session with a man named Tim in his mid
30s. Tim worked in an administrative capacity for a government agency
and was very unhappy with his job. He had been there for 10 years,
and while his salary was decent, he was bored and didn't feel he
had much to aspire to at his current location. When he came to see
me, he was having no luck getting a date. He was going to singles
dances and couldn't get one phone number from a woman who interested
him. He would make an attempt to initiate a conversation, but as
soon as the conversation turned toward his career he would clam
up and get defensive. Inevitably, for better or worse, often when
we meet someone new, the normal inclination is to inquire about
their profession. It's a common starting point for getting to know
someone. Understandably, someone might feel insecure if they're
not happy with their work or if they feel they are being judged
personally by what they do professionally.
In this instance,
it became evident to me that I could give Tim a list a yard long
of great places to socialize, but the real problem was his lack
of self-esteem because of his job insecurity. While I did make some
socializing suggestions for him, the primary recommendation was
that he focus for now on rewriting his resume and potentially seeking
out a new position. Until he felt good about himself, he would continue
to be insecure around people who might engage him in a discussion
about his employment. He has since focused on his career and is
on a better path to personal contentment, recognizing he needs to
make some changes in his life in order to invite love in.
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