Robin, though married, remains
keenly aware of the problems that people face in the dating world.
She dated for several years before she met her mensch. "I recognize
how hard it is to be single," says Robin. "I don't think that one
ever forgets the challenge to meet Mr. or Ms. Right." Her lovecoaching
business resulted from research and writing of her book. The book
is extremely comprehensive and can even be used as a social guide
to simply meet interesting people.
On the hundreds of hours that
Robin spent researching and then writing the book, she says, "It was
definitely a labor of love. I really view the book almost as a public
service." From that research, she created a niche for herself in an
area that had gone untouched - advising single people on finding the
best social venues for them to meet other singles. And, she is in
demand. She has been on many major national television networks including
CNN, NBC, and the BBC. Robin is also a chat host for Digital City
NY on AOL. Her book and interviews have been featured in The New York
Times, Crain's New York Business, New York Magazine, Cosmopolitan,
the New York Post, as well as several other publications.
"I think that most people can
benefit from a love coach," says Robin. "It helps to have a third
party come in and assess your social life. What I focus on is helping
people become more socially strategic. What I do is actually map out
a plan of action for somebody. I help people cut through the meet
market clutter."
Adults typically socialize at
clubs and bars. According to Robin, most people are not aware of other
settings to meet people or they need guidance and encouragement to
partake in new social settings. This is where a love coach enters.
Robin devises a plan of action to meet other singles, based upon her
client's interest and lifestyle. For example, for the New York City
sports enthusiast, she might suggest "TRACS of New York" which is
a club that organizes coed touch football, basketball, softball, and
volleyball. For the culturally motivated person in Westchester, she
might suggest attending the Symphony Singles Concert Series of the
New Orchestra of Westchester. Wherever you live and whatever your
interests, she hones in on different places to meet dynamic people.
Not only does she devise a plan of action, via in-person or telephone,
but she also gives her clients support during the dating process.
She also advises you on the do's and don'ts of dating in a world where
nouveau and traditional styles often clash. She's a real coach.
All types of people seek Robin's
coaching, even young guys who are a hot commodity on the dating scene.
Like most clients, they are looking to get out of the bar scene. "My
very first client was a surprise to me. He was a 21 year old man who
was actually quite good-looking," says Robin. "He wasn't looking to
get married, he came because he was looking for new socializing ideas.
He just wanted to have a good time."
The majority of Robin's clients
tend to be people in their late thirties and early forties. "I tend
to deal with very successful people. They are very busy people. They've
been so successful on a professional level and suddenly they wake
up one day and realize that there's more to life," says Robin.
"Who wants to work and live alone
in a vacuum? At the end of the day, how much happiness does that bring
you, without someone to share it? Whether it's a spouse, friend, or
partner, life is so much more interesting when there are other people
in it who love and support you. Without that, I don't know where I'd
be."
For Robin, love coaching is not
just a business, it's la joie de vivre. She loves talking to
people and encouraging them to take a positive outlook on life. A
good attitude, she says, is essential for dating. She emphasizes that
even though you may not have met the right person, that person could
be just around the corner. She tells her clients to be open to meeting
new people. "You really have to give people a chance. Try to stay
positive because if you're not, no one's going to want to be with
you," says Robin. "Take your checklist and throw it out the window
because you're never going to find all qualities in any one person."
That's part of her "Three R's
of Dating." That one was "Right Attitude." The other two are the "Right
Place" and the "Right Time."
"The Right Place is putting yourself
out there where the odds of meeting someone are going to work in your
favor. If you're a man, for example, pursue cultural activities since
they're usually female dominated. If you're a woman, get involved
in some kind of outdoors or sports activity. The summer, obviously
because of the weather, is the best time to do that. So, you can join
a softball league, take a golf lesson, or join a tennis league. Consider
going on a vacation that is kind of sporty like a Club Med or a Club
Getaway or take a bike trip for a weekend, hike or camp. Even just
hang out in the park. Seinfeld met his ex, Shoshona, in Central Park!
Put on those roller blades, go walk that cute dog in the park, you
never know," says Robin.
For example, women say, 'If a
guy loves me enough, he'll marry me.' No. He's not going to marry
you if he's not ready," says Robin. "There's a reason for everything.
Guys are pretty black and white.; They don't do what they don't want
to do. And, you can't always explain it. Oftentimes it is just because
it is not the right time for him and it may be the right time for
you. But, you have to want the same thing at the same time as the
other person. It doesn't matter how crazy you are about each other.
The relationship is not going to work out if your immediate goals
are not the same. You just have to accept that and move on. You can't
make somebody 'get ready.' "
Although that sounds harsh, Coach
Robin is there to give you the good and the bad. Yet, there is never
any doubt that she is your number one fan. She gives you the extra
push to "get out there" and, on the contrary, to sometimes "get out
of it."
"Everyone deserves to have one
good boyfriend or girlfriend in their lives who will know how that
person wants to be treated. To accept anything less than that is really
doing yourself a disservice. It's true," says Robin. "You don't want
to be with just anybody. What's the point? There's no challenge to
get married. The challenge is to be happily married."
"When people are in a relationship
that is less than 100%, they often make so many justifications for
the relationship. Down the road, when there's a problem, it will come
back to haunt them. That problem, I'm sure was there all along," Robin
says.
"The main reason why I am a love
coach is because I really want to help people. It's so gratifying
to me to feel that I can actually change somebody's life. If I can
give somebody a new outlook on their social life, that makes me feel
great," says Robin. "If I can help somebody find the love that they've
always wanted or bring more friends into a person's life to enrich
it through socializing activities ... what a wonderful thing!"
